Anonymous asked: Are you still accepting submissions?
Yes, in general. Spamming our inbox isn’t the bet policy, though.
Anonymous asked: hello! can you explain what genderfluid means? i tried searching it up but i don't really understand what it is. does it mean that sometimes you're a male and sometimes a female? or does that mean you're both? or neither? what's the difference between transgender, agender, and gender fluid?
Okay, gonna do a quick roundup, so this will be missing some intricacies.
Genderfluid means that your gender is… well, more ‘fluid’ than most! As in, it shifts and changes over time, so maybe sometimes you’re a boy, sometimes you’re a girl, sometimes you’re somewhere inbetween (though that’ll vary from person to person, obviously).
Transgender: your gender isn’t the same as the one assigned to you at birth (based on whether or not you have a penis). Basically, if the doctor said “it’s a boy!” and you’re a man, then you’re cis (read: not trans).
Agender: You don’t have a gender! You don’t feel like a boy, or a girl, or somewhere inbetween, your gender is “none”. (Also generally falls under the ‘transgender’ umbrella)
Anonymous asked: once I saw this post talking about the lies lesbians tell themselves to convince themselves that they're not gay and now I can't find it 😩😩HELP plz
Followers? I haven’t seen this one, tbh
Anonymous asked: Then that means I'm free to call a lesbian a heterophobic because they aren't attracted to males! Seriously? Attraction is based on personal taste, if a cishet isn't attracted to something that ISN'T a women in the first place, then are you going to tell me I'm a homophobic if I don't want to date a lesbian because I'm not attracted to a female? Oh, but if a gay man doesn't like women that's okay! ...Hypocrites much?
I’ve tried replying to this properly at least twice now but I keep clicking away bored mid-explanation, so please look up why heterophobia isn’t a thing, why using “females”/”males” is kinda gross when you’re talking about human beings, and (since this was in response to an anon talking about being attracted to trans women) the fact that trans women are female
basically everything about this message is just… built on a solid foundation of “everything here is incorrect”, so it’s not so much that you’re reaching the wrong conclusion as that you’re building your argument out of different materials and in the wrong direction.
Anonymous asked: I'm writing from Italy and we are discussing about the word "straight" used to define heterosexual behaviour. Nobody of us is english-mother-tongue, so I thought to ask you: Do yo think that "straight" has a homophobic connotation (straight as opposed to "bend", non regular etc. etc.)? Thanx!
I think it branches off from “the straight and narrow”, so… not really, I guess? But kinda? I think it’s one of those things where you could definitely argue it, and the logic is sound, but it’s so far removed from it that there isn’t any real homophobic connotation, in my mind.
Anonymous asked: Is it homophobic for a cishet man to find trans-women unnattractive?
Homophobic, no. Transphobic, yes. If you find someone super hot until you find out she has a penis and then you find her unattractive, that’s transphobic. If you think you can “spot” trans women just by how they look, that’s transphobic.
Anonymous asked: i am a cisgendered straight female, and am an ally of the lgbt+ community. im perfectly comfortable with the word "cisgender", but sometimes, my lgbt+ friends use it with a negative connotation, and i feel attacked, because they make it seem as if all cisgendered people are incapable of understanding and supporting lgbt+ issues. i understand as a cis, i have privilege, but im uncomfortable when cis is used in a negative way. does this make me a bad person/other thoughts about this topic?
“Ally” isn’t something you are in a fixed sense, it’s something you are in an ongoing sense. When you’re listening to trans people talk about cis people negatively, and you’re thinking about how much it hurts you as an individual cis person, you’re not actually listening to them – and you’re not being an ally in that moment. Taking their general frustration and making it specifically about you only really does one thing – makes it so that…. yeah, they’re kinda talking about you in that moment.
I wouldn’t say that this flat-out makes you a bad person (clearly your heart’s in the right place, with both how you started this and with the fact that you asked about it), but you should definitely do some thinking about this, and try to actually listen to their frustrations that they’re expressing (even if it’s indirectly), instead of hearing that word and shutting down.
- Mod D
Anonymous asked: Do you have any tips to tell the difference between genuine allies and people who only call themselves allies/support gay rights in order to deflect accusations of bigotry or to look progressivr?
Biggest thing for me is if they tell you about their actions, or if you actually see their actions.
There’s a big difference between, say, someone telling you about this time they totally told off this dude who said “that’s so gay” at work, and someone posting about homophobia on Facebook. One is making sure you know about his actions so he gets cookies, one is doing the actions (and if you see it and think better about him for it, that’s probably not not thought about, but it’s at the very least secondary).
Ingenuine people are really easy to spot once you start looking for it, and they are some of the worst people out there in my eyes.
- Mod D
Anonymous asked: Hi, i'm a closeted bi girl, and i just wanna say i love your blog and i love reading it whenever i feel lonely. Hope u have a great day crushing homophobes!!
I’m super-glad! <3 I hope you have a fantastic day being awesome!
- Mod D
Anonymous asked: Is being homophobic a bad thing? Like, straight up, if you can't help that you fear or dislike homosexual individuals because it is an automatic response from your brain, is that really a bad thing? I know, it depends from person to person, some homophobics respect homosexuals for their choice, some are oppresive, but is it bad to be homophobic?
Yes. You can help it – it’s a learned response, not an ingrained one. (Also, not a choice, at least generally.)
So, uh. Yes. Yes, it’s definitely bad to be homophobic.
- Mod D